England and the Unicorn
by Narukashi666
Summary: India gave England some drugs. HO NOES! Will England find the Unicorn in time? READ TO FIND OUT. /Yes, I know it's crap. Because it's my second Hetalia fic. TT TT


"OMFG IMA RIDE A UNICORNNNNN~!" England screamed, tearing through the mansion, flattening Canada, America, and Australia in a single stride.

"NO FAIR!" America roared, leaping to his feet, "I WANNA RIDE A UNICORN TOO!"

Canada whimpered and hid behind his bear. "What is going on, eh?" he whispered in a frightened voice. Australia shook his head and huddled with his little brother.

"KYAAA, PINK MARZIPAN ELEPHANTS ARE FLYING THROUGH THE AIIIIIIIRRRR! JOIN MEH ON MY QUEST OF MAGICALNESSSSSS!" England suddenly tore off his shirt and began folk-dancing in the middle of the meeting room. France whooped and joined him, using this as an excuse to strip off all his clothes. China buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

"Um... Uh, M-Mr. England, sir...?" Sealand squeaked, "Shouldn't you put on your shirt...?"

"SMALL WONDER EDDIE IZZARD IS A WOMAN! SKIRTS ARE FOR THE HOMELESS!" England then pranced off to annoy Germany.

"Okay..." Russia sighed, garnering the attention of everyone in the room, including America, Australia, and Canada, "Who let him get into the drugs?"

"Um, I think India gave him some when he tried to invade, eh..." Canada commented, shrinking from Russia's piercing purple gaze.

"Ah."

~~~\0/~~~

"GAAAAAAH, ITALIA, JAPAN, HELP MEEEEEEE!" Germany screamed, stumbling across the parade ground, "ENGLAND IS TRYING TO- HOLY SHIT, GET OFF!"

"Sausages are for the poor!" England yelled, voice muffled by Germany's jacket, which he had pulled over his head. "You evil Nat-sies will NEVER take over the world! Jesus loves us ALL!"

"Does he love pasta?" Italia asked, completely clueless.

"..." Japan turned back to his manga.

"NO!" England shrieked, leaping seven feet in the air and swan-diving into Italy's GIANT POT O' PASTA (don't ask, for it shall destroy thee!) and taking a quick swim. "JESUS ONLY LOVES ROAST BEEF AND TATERS! OMFG COMIC BOOKS! HA HA YOU'RE SO WEIRD!" he then proceeded to roll all over Japan's manga, covering them in noodles and butter. Japan merely sighed and turned on his laptop so he could watch anime.

"EAT THIS, MOTHERFUCKER!" Germany roared, aiming a bazooka at England, who whipped out Busby's Chair and rushed him with it.

"FOR GERMAN PEACE!" Germany hollered.

"ASDFGHJKL!" England exclaimed.

They met in a BOOM and BANG and SPLODE of epic proportions.

England skipped off into the sunset with Busby's Chair while Germany lay twitching on the ground.

"OMG TAICHOU NOOOOOOOOOES!" Italy screamed, and began sobbing his heart out. "WE WERE GONNA SHARE PASTAAAAAA!"

Japan plugged in his headphones.

~~~\0/~~~

England was having THE TIME OF HIS LIFE.

India had given him some weird-lookin' plants and told him to smoke them. When he had, it was like the entire world was changing, falling over sideways on its axis, colors draining and changing, weird voices speaking from nowhere-

"OMG A TREE!" he screeched, running into said tree three seconds later. "FIRST AID NEEDED!" he stripped and flung all his clothes around in a circle, doing a very suggestive, er, "folk-dance".

As he got to the best part of the dance, one of the bushes uprooted itself and grew arms and a head.

"I can haz dancey dancey time nao?" France inquired, grinning pervertedly. England promptly raeped and skipped away, looking for the unicorn.

"I GOTTA FIND TEH UNICORN! HEEEERE, UNICORN UNICORN UNICORN!" He searched EVERYWHERE; America's house, Canada's cabin, Sealand, Germany (and Germany's jacket), Russia's place... where was the unicorn?

"Psst!"

England swung around and fell on his bottom.

"Psst! England! Are you looking for the unicorn?"

"UH-HUH AND I ALMOST FOUND IT BUT IT RAN AWAY SO NOW I CAN'T FIND IT PURPLE RAIN, PURPLE RAAAAAAIN!"

A glowing laptop scuttled out from under a bush.

"TEH UNICORN!"

England dived into the laptop, landing on the back of the Robot Unicorn. "GO FORTH, MIGHTY UNICORN, AND BRING ME TO THE LAND OF AWESOME GAYNESS!" He squealed.

The Robot Unicorn, in a fit of panic, began racing frantically in a circle, then leapt from purple land mass to purple land mass, sobbing as the dolphins teased him about being "ridden" by a crazy person.

"LAND OF GAYNESS, HERE I COMMMMME!" England's gleeful shriek hung in the air as the Unicorn charged towards the Rainbow of Ultimate Glory.

~~~\0/~~~

Japan was pissed to discover that America had stolen his laptop. And when he logged on to Robot Unicorn Attack, THERE WAS NO UNICORN!

Talk about rude.

~~~\0/~~~

**8D**

**(*The world loves you*)**


End file.
